No Ordinary Call

Hello....

Oh, I didn’t think you would call......

 Yes I know, it is his birthday but.......

Well, I’m glad you did....

 Yea it has been a long time....and in the time I contemplated what I would say in the event that you called. I spent months wondering if you even cared at all...and what I would say if you ever called. I’m not gunna lie and say everything is easy because sometimes I break down crying.......

Why? Because of the joy of my seed. Holding this child in the highest esteem. And yet I know my deed is to hold he....because it’s only me. I know that this isn’t a home of three and it’s because of thee.....

Wait.....wait...let me say what’s on my mind...you’ve missed a lot of his life so I have to catch you up.

Because he almost didn’t make it to his first day. But the coach said it was fine because our child was one of a kind. One of the best ones out there.  And at his first game, he scored. He ran the ball all the way to the end zone. And, so what if he scored for the other team... in my book he still scored. Running over to me holding the ball with a huge smile...and I laughed and partially sighed. Because I knew soon he would learn to run up field.

And even before that. You should have seen what you considered less of a being, and his smile when I tucked little man in bed anticipating the morning. 

And you wonder why sometimes I cry.

Because he almost didn’t make it to his first day. Because I got off of my third shift late, and when I got home he sat at the door with his ninja turtle book bag on waiting. Waiting for me to take him to his first day of school. With no help it was on me, you see. It was on me...to take care of he....

Yea..... yea I know you were busy, but let me finish...because I remember before that.

Because he almost didn’t make it to his first day. Because on his first birthday it was his worst day. He didn’t want presents or toys he wanted you; and you? Didn’t show. You wouldn’t give him the time of day. And I should have known better because for the first 12 months of his life you were just a monthly visit to our seed, knowing damn well I couldn’t give the missing motherly love or even breast feed, didn’t give the time...not even dropping a dime.

And I knew even before that what it would be. You made it clear, way before that.

Because he almost didn’t make it to his first day. Because I saw your car at the clinic on my way home. I ran in there screaming your name, coming to find out you changed your mind. Saying you didn’t have the time for he; our seed.  Holding the documents and blood payment in hand, I said I would bear it all. I would endure everything but the labor pain. No worry for you. Just 5 more months. Only 5 more months.

And before that I knew.

Because it took two to make three, and it was you who skipped that pill and begged to be pleased. You wanted me to fulfill your need. And protection was neglected because you pleaded to feel it all, You wanted to get it raw. And my dick took over because it never felt that wet before. Blacked out when I busted because you were someone I trust, because he almost didn’t make it to his first day, of life, because I definitely had a condom in my pocket.....

Wait, wait, wait, I didn’t ask for your piece so let me speak.

And sometimes, I break down crying. Because of what was supposed to be our seed. Back then we were close. But as your belly grew you wanted to leave. You didn’t want any part of he.  Your dreams were bigger than me. And the day of my inception into thee was 9 months from his birth day, from his first day.  I was the 19 year old boy with baby, who had to become a man too soon. And I have fulfilled my duty as a man, I’m talking like Flex Washington from One on One, Tamera’s Dad from sister sisters, Chukies dad from Rugrats, Jack Baurer from 24, Alan from 2 and a half men, like Michael from Lost, I’m gunna hold it down and continue my responsibility as a single parent, and yes it’s our child’s birthday and I’m not asking you for a dime....or even your time. I just needed to get this off of my mind to restore my piece of mind.

And when you call back in the next 4 to 10 years I will update you again on what is no longer your burden. No longer your child.

Hello...hello....(“Click”)

-Moises Seraphin