If Only You Knew

"If only...."

If only you knew,

That every morning I stand in the mirror flexing for a good 5 minutes, dancing to PYT and telling myself, “I am 5 foot 11 and a half and my muscles are huge”, If only you knew,

I used to have this dream. And I hated it because I would, walk into the bathroom, stand at the urinal and handle my business. But it sucked because every time I woke up from that god forsaken nightmare I had wet the bed, If only you knew,

That when I’m in the presence of beauty I start stu-stu stutter and look away to not be lost in her eyes. So instead I gaze at her waist and thighs, to not be sucked into her....boo...I mean beauty. And yet at times I fail miserably. If you knew,

I found the girl of my dreams and I loved her but wasn’t in love with her. She loved me more than any other but I couldn’t love her. And it sucks because the girl of my nightmares stole my heart damning me to never love again. I found true love but had my soul go cold and ripped from my chest, If only you knew,

That I don’t call my dad as much as I should. And I tell him its because I’m busy even though I’m really not. And I can never find the words to tell him he is my biggest hero. My icon... And I strive to be half the man he is. Showing me what its like to love god and all unconditionally. How to become a father, teacher, mentor, pastor, man and human all in one, If only you knew,

That my parents pray every morning for me just in case I forget.

That I’ve forever wondered what legacy I’ll leave behind and what they will say when I’m gone. Because I’ve imagined my body..... without life, If only you knew,

I should be dead 100 times over. Did you know?

I came out fighting from birth. I came out feet first with a cord around my neck...choking me.... and upon surviving hours of labor without drowning they named me Moises. Did you know?

In high school I remember a day when I was going too fast in the rain trying to beat the light and make a turn.. And my car skid into oncoming traffic and stopped feet from the others coming the opposite way who stopped....because the light went from yellow to red. Did you know?

That last school year I was going through hell. I could’nt sleep all semester...I couldn’t sleep. And the time I did...I was driving. The alignment in my car that always goes right went left and I hit the rail and didn’t go over that 50+ foot drop, If only you knew,

That inside of every manly exterior is boy who at times sobs.

In my vivid dreams I see things I can’t touch.

Sometimes I feel pain and it isn’t my own....It’s yours. I taste your trials, tribulations and pain. I feel your tears in the rain. I hear your screams in the back of my brain, and I write down everything I see in these poems, If only you knew,

At times I shred tears when I write because I feel every single word, If only you knew,

That there is a god... A god who has been blessing me every step of the way.

That I am blessed beyond measure and I spend hours wondering why me, If only you knew....

If only you knew....


And if you didn’t.....now you know.



-Moises Seraphin

Diversity

The Beauty of Diversity from t rashaad on Vimeo.

http://vimeo.com/36445765

Diversity is defined as the condition of being composed of differing elements. Just like variety with the inclusion of different types of things or people, diversity... Is what makes us, and by that I mean everyone and everything unique and special... Because without diversity, one cannot differentiate between him or her, I mean, this or that...diversity. Is what separates me from you, and you from me; the qualities of being tall, short, young, old, big, little, athletic, artistic and the differences in our melanin.

Because diversity...is beautiful. But our so called human nature struggles with embracing diversity and mold that beautiful word into the ugly nightmare known as prejudice. Prejudice...a preconceived opinion not based on reason and experience; followed by bias, detriment with prepossession, discrimination... and racism. Because the misuse of words like “All” perpetuate the cycle of prejudice. And the only way to combat prejudice is by embracing diversity. And we should teach others to reject all forms of prejudice and discrimination, including but not limited to those based on age, color, disability, gender, national origin, political affiliation, race, religion, sexual orientation, and veteran status. We should take individual and collective responsibility for helping to eliminate bias and discrimination and for increasing our own understanding of these issues through education, training, and interaction with others through our, diversity...which is as amazing as individual snowflake... as remarkable as a fingerprint. Diversity...different...yet beautiful. Diversity.


Moises Seraphin